So I’m mid-squat at the gym, music blasting, feeling pumped as hell — then I feel it.

Yep, certain air pressure wants to come out. So I thought, it’s fine. I can let it out.

To be clear, I farted. Didn’t hold back. I was confident no one noticed. Don’t know where I got that confidence from though, because turns out, my fart came out loud enough to echo.

Like, gym-floor acoustics are no joke. The guy next to me literally stopped mid-rep and looked around. Two girls on the treadmills started whispering and giggling — probably conspiring about who did it.

I thought I didn’t care, but I did. I lowkey panicked.

So I did what any normal person would do — I looked around too, pretending to be disgusted, like, damn bro, who would do that? Cranked up my music and kept squatting like nothing happened.

I didn’t fool anyone, though, because stupid me, I was the only person on that side of the gym — everybody knew it was me. And that one girl who was laughing and giggling with her friend? My gym crush.

One dude even goes, “bro, if that was you, at least walk away.”

So yeah… I walked away. And switched gyms the next day lol

One morning, I hit print on a 30-page client report. The thing immediately starts making this horrifying clunk clunk screeeee noise. I’m staring at it, praying it’s just a paper jam, when suddenly there is smoke.

Literal smoke. Way too much smoke. Way too fast.

My heart sinks. I start pressing random buttons like that’s gonna help, but nope - it’s just getting worse. I back away slowly, pretending I have no idea what’s happening.

People start looking over. My boss walks by, sees the printer wheezing out smoke like, and goes, “Who did this?”

And I, pulling the most Oscar-worthy performance of my life, go, “Wait, it wasn’t me! I think it was already doing that when I got here.”

Then IT rushes in, opens the tray, and pulls out a melted pen. Not just any pen, but a pen with our company logo and my name printed right on it.

I just stand there like, “Oh wow, that’s… so weird.”

LMAO. Obviously, no one bought it. We didn’t have a printer for a week, and for two months after the new one came in, I wasn’t allowed to touch it. I’m just grateful they didn’t fire me cause that could’ve turned out wayy worse.

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