I kept thinking, just hold it in until the 8th floor. Just 8 floors. It’s a small elevator and there are 6 other people with me. I knew these people and knew they lived above 8th, so I’d be the first one to go. Cool.

We get to the 5th, and the elevator stops. Two more people - a couple about my age - squeeze in. They have a picnic bag with them and a small grill. Probably having a small date on the rooftop. Because it’s such a tiny elevator, it took forever to squeeze their stuff in, everyone shuffling around to make space.

I’m sweating at this point from trying to hold it in. I feel like if I move one more inch or even breathe too hard, it’ll all come out. Why did I have to eat at least 2 kg of grilled meat with kimchi?

Then, right as the elevator doors open to 8th, I immediately try to squeeze my way out (I was standing by the buttons but because of the grill, I had to hop sideways). And that’s when it happens.

At first, it was a fart. Loud. No denying it. I didn’t even turn around or try to laugh it off — I just ran. Three steps in, though, and it wasn’t a fart anymore. It was full-on chocolate waterfall.

I won’t go into too much detail cause fck that, it’s still too traumatizing. All I’ll say is: no poop hit the carpet, thank god, but my jeans were a lost cause. The next morning, I found out from the maintenance guy that one of the 5th floor couple actually stopped the elevator doors from closing to check on me. Apparently, I looked pale as hell when I sprinted out… which means she definitely saw me sht my pants. And if she saw it, everyone else did too.

Ten minutes in, I feel the rumble. I tell myself, just hold it, it’s only 20 more minutes. I’m gripping the seat like it’s a rollercoaster. Every bump in the road feels like the bus is personally testing me.

At one point, the driver brakes hard, and I swear I almost lost it right there. The guy next to me is blasting music on his phone, completely clueless that my intestines are about to explode.

We’re crawling through traffic, and I can see my stop through the window, so I stand up, thinking I can make it if I just clench and run the second those doors open.

Universe really said, NOPE.

As soon as I put weight on my legs, game over. First, it came out quiet, and I thought maybe I’d gotten away with it. Then came the wet clap against the plastic bus seat. Lol. I literally froze. Didn’t move a muscle. I sat back down like nothing happened, sweating like crazy and praying nobody noticed.

But of course, they did. The girl across the aisle pulled her shirt over her nose. The guy blasting music paused his track and side-eyed me. Even the bus driver kept looking at me through the rearview mirror.

By the time my stop came, it was too late. My jeans were ruined and some even go on my shoes. Atp, the smell was everywhere. It was so bad, and it followed me out the door.

Haven’t stepped foot in that Taco Bell AND the bus since.

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